Farting

Places you should never fart:

1. Elevator - this is probably the most important of all the places. You should never do this...unless you are only going down one flight or up one flight. Otherwise just don't do it - someone is bound to get on.

2. The Shower - unlike the elevator - there is no need to worry about offending others. But somehow the hot water makes it all that much worse.

3. Immediately proceeding a b.m. - I found out first hand how horrible this was the other day - if you are standing over the toilet (undoing a belt or something) about to drop a deuce, don't let one go...when you sit down, it will be all around you.

4. Church - Greg set a record for this once and I couldn't stop from laughing during the whole mass.


Places where you should always fart:

1. The Bath Tub - not that we take baths ever - but seeing the bubbles rise while you are stewing in your own juices is tremendous.

2. Riding in the car with your friends.

3. When preparing a dutch oven for your significant other.