This Video Features Pat's Three Favorite Things

1. International soccer.
2. Bill Clinton playing grab-ass with Katie Couric.
3. Mick Jagger.



I'm sure Mick Jagger is HUGE in Kansas. Because it's still 1964 there, you see.

Nebraska can eat shit

How about the simple fact this is the last Hate Week because Nebraska is a bunch of douche bags who would sell their own mothers for a nickel? Enjoy getting your asses kicked in the Big 10.

And Nebraska can never mention "tradition" in any of their PR stuff because they clearly don't know a damn thing about it.

Hate Week: The Final Chapter

It's that time of year again. Only this year, it's for the last time. Hate Week is back for a final go 'round before Nebraska starts pretending it's an elite academic institution and Kansas starts sending all its money to Texas. In honor of the impending death of Hate Week, the blog has donned a respectful black hue.

A reminder of the tradition: all blog posts made during Hate Week must reference the opponent in a derogatory or insulting manner. This is the last chance we have to do this. Let's make it count.

The patron saint of Hate Week: The Final Chapter is, of course, Turner Gill.


Nebraskans have loved Turner for more than two decades now. He's one of the ten best players in Husker history. Dude even married a girl from Kearney. But this week, he's just another Jesus-freak Jayhawk who must be made to suffer.

HATE WEEK IS DEAD! LONG LIVE HATE WEEK!

And now, a tornado of fire.

JESUS CRAP! GUN IT CAMERA GUY!

The Only Big XII Football Preview You Need

If it can't be read in Jim Rome's patented staccato, I ain't interested, bro-boat.

People are such bitches

Really? The bag is too loud? That's your biggest problem? Sorry, but becoming more environmentally friendly is going to take sacrifices. Try to cope by shoveling more Sun Chips into your face.

Fried Cheesecake

Thank god she added the "little vegetable" at the end or this might have been unhealthy.

Why you should buy stock in Apple

Love 'em or hate 'em, Macs are popular...especially among younger generations.

For Greg

Google Drops Wave

Didn't we try to Google Wave at some point?

"Monkeys hate flying squirrels, report monkey-annoyance experts"

This raises so many questions, namely: how do I become a monkey-annoyance expert?

I'll see your Tech N9ne and raise you "The Biebs"

Gates, bitches!!!

Where you at Omaha?!

iPhone v Android Evo

The emotionless, monotone computer voices make it that much better.

Not Art

http://gizmodo.com/5579677/definitely-turn-left-at-next-intersection

The Sexiest Picture of All Time

Ladies, resist the urge to drop your drawers, it's just a picture.



You know these dudes worked out a plan to rent jeeps and just haul ass all over Africa when the Cup is over.

X-ray Photobomb

I've finally solved AY's facial hair problem

Here ya go, baby face.

I love this commercial

Best quote ever regarding a soccer ball

NY Times:

“Scientists came up with the atom bomb; it doesn’t mean we should have invented it.”

European financial crisis explained

I love this

"Everything is amazing and nobody is happy."

Learn CPR

None of my CPR classes have been like this.

Super Sexy CPR from Super Sexy CPR on Vimeo.

Why is Apple Destroying the World?

This reminded me of J and Grawlix. The funny thing about this is that most buyers of iPads (and other Apple products) don't even know what the hell this Tate guy is talking about. Seriously, what the hell is Obj C and API?

I don't think Jobs can be criticized for creating something that people really like using, even if it doesn't have (or use) these things. Demand runs the market. If most people who buy iPads like the way it runs, then that's the way it's going to be. If you have some better ideas, start your own company and build it the way you want to (with all the crap you want in it). This theoretical argument about what Apple products could (or should) be is simply ridiculous. If it should be something else, build it, market it, and sell it. If it's good, people will buy it.

Just amazing

There are two reasons this image made me think of Adam.

I just realized I pretty much dance like a Teletubby

Refund when your home team sucks?

If the Royals did this I could enjoy a full season of baseball without paying.

South Africa hates 'Merica

''Our famous prayer is that the Americans don't make the second round [of the World Cup]. (That) they get eliminated and they go home.''

SuperOreo

No, Bono, We Do NOT All Agree On One Thing

The World Cup is the greatest sporting event in the world. So it's a shame that it always brings with it shit like this in its host countries. Someone ought to pressure FIFA to do something to stop this, or the 2014 Cup in Brazil will result in the ghettoization of the favelas. Hard to see how that's tolerable.

Also, I thought these things were just created for District 9.

A little ridiculous

Josh Bait? Pat Bait? Adam 'bates.

Got an iPad? Don't plan on taking it to Israel, you Zionist cow.

Why top colleges squeeze you dry

Good article from the WSJ

This one's for Greg

Sean Hannity is a douche

A well-executed prank.

I can't embrace the "lol"

I just can't do it. And it irritates me when people text it to me. I get it, it's a useful texting shortcut. But, it makes me think you're a pre-teen girl and I shouldn't be texting you.

That is all.

Wait for the part where the AY stormtrooper chimes in

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1920944

Tea Party Jesus

I don't know how long it's existed, but this may become my favorite site ever.

My birthday is only 6 short shopping months away

Douche Nozzle

The whole infographic is here, but I've clipped the relevant section.

Hitler finds out KU lost

Double Whopper with Cheese is economical

Important research being done at my alma mater

Making me proud

I could do that

Happy Birthday, Grawlix

Just because I know you're into Justin Bieber so much. I know, I spoil ya.

Smut for Smut

A student atheist group in Texas is giving out porn to students who turn in their holy books (Bibles, Qurans, etc.).



This is the only time I'll positively refer to something that happened in Texas.

Tracy Morgan on the Daily Show

Hilarious...absolutely hilarious.

Don't Smoke

It's like giving a Frenchman a BJ.

Breasts

Via: Online Schools

Hipster Cat

[more]

We can quote the Bible too

The Best Thing You'll See Today

That is all.

Mind. Blown.

In case you had any aspirations or goals, just know that some physicists now believe the universe is a hologram.

ALL THAT YOU KNOW IS AT AN END.

Executive compensation

A nice infographic showing executive pay relative to average workers.

The Generic News Report

The Best Thing About the Internet?

Nothing - absolutely nothing! - ever goes away. You know what this is. Just be sure to watch through to the end. Reminisce. Enjoy.


Whatever happened to "fun" Josh?

Joining the Grow Squad

I suggest we start to get into this. Take note of the twenty-something making $40,000 every 6-8 weeks. Most likely, there'll be a ballot initiative in CA this year, as well, seeking to legalize recreational use of marijuana. Sales might just go up even further.

I'm SO happy with my choice in professions.

AY is a Father

For the students of the English professors in the crowd

Wow, Toyota

Way to go on dominating the car industry and then screwing it all up for yourself. This will probably hurt the bottom line.

They should just start manufacturing only Priuses(?), Prii(?).

Sick

More Narwhal Related Content

Epic Hockey Fight

9-year olds, dude.

Enjoy Your Weekend!

Watch the whole thing for a shocking ending!

Cougars

I don't know what this has to do with flying, but it's pretty funny.

Don't tease me, NASA

NASA Designs Personal Plane. I want one...now.

NY Times paywall

It's going to be a sad day when the NY Times starts charging for online content. Here's a good commentary.

Taxing Big Banking

Op-ed in the NY Times about trying to bring big banking under control, apparently written by the OMB director under Reagan (which I thought was interesting).

Removing Your Own Appendix

It's possible. It's been done. The link includes pictures of the guy, mid-surgery.

Why did you choose Yale?

Colbert on McGwire

Apocalypse Now

The only thing that could make this scene from Apocalypse Now better is being dubbed in Spanish. Everything is better dubbed in Spanish.

I'm Addicted to The Daily Show

Ringo Starr, Ben Harper, "A Little Help from My Friends." Awesome.

Bacon Chicken Narwhal

This Is Why You're Fat always has some good stuff so I don't post most of the hilarity, but this is just too awesome:

The only good thing about the NFL playoffs...

is this music video from LaDanian Tomlinson. I have no idea what this is. However, it does contain:
1) LT imploring you to "hit that hole" and "say hi to the wife."
2) The whitest suit this side of Tom Wolfe.
3) A hippie wearing a dinosaur t-shirt.
4) Seizure-inducing flashing colors.




I don't like that call. Naw! Not a very good call.

Gotta Check This Out

Dudes, this is pretty hilarious, whether made up or not (and from what I know of people on facebook, I think that most of it isn't).

Google

Another one for P-fizzle

Really it's for me, but I feel better about myself when I act like it's for Paddy.

[original]

Zoolander Phone

Not quite as small as Zoolander's, but getting pretty freakin close.

"Neil Young" covers The Fresh Prince of Bel Air

This is actually pretty damn good.

The Knave abideth.

Lebowski by way of Shakespeare.

The Android Army

Sounds like somebody I know:

Therefore, Android appeals to precisely the sort of frustrated, anti-establishment people who have no trouble writing abusive notes. It brings them out of the woodwork, gives them a new counterculture champion.

(The irony is, of course, that once upon a time, Apple was perceived as the counterculture underdog. But 200 million iPods later, some people obviously see the former “think different” company as the “you’re all a bunch of consumer sheep” company.)

Read the whole post. It's a cursory, but still interesting analysis of what is currently going on among fans of the now three big software (and kinda hardware) companies.

Classic

[original]

The PhD Problem

I haven't read this article yet, but thought it would be of interest.

"Avatar" Review

An entertaining and pretty accurate review of Cameron's "Avatar." Regardless of the rather pedestrian storyline, it is well worth seeing in the 3D. Seriously, go see it.